Work can be a funny thing. Especially with funny people around.
Today I was told off by Patricia, which did not make me feel good.
At work I have two jobs, I’m supposed to do one on Mon-Thurs and the other job on Friday. However with training a new boss, having one member of the team badly injured and all the deadlines in this month and the next coming quickly I find that I am doing bits of the Friday job on Mon-Thurs.
Anyway on Friday I had to finish something for the Thurs job so I did. Then on Monday I was told off for not concentrating on the Friday job on Friday. Grrrr.
Anyway must look on the bright side.
Nothing is better than a Rolls Royce
My bicycle is better than nothing.
Therefore my bicycle is better than a Rolls Royce
A syllogism is a kind of logical argument in which one conclusion is inferred from two premises.
Major premise: All humans are mortal.
Minor premise: Socrates is human.
Conclusion: Socrates is mortal.
I like my bike syllogism as it assumes that nothing has only one meaning when in fact it has many.
Monday, 25 February 2008
Tuesday, 5 February 2008
Hears to you and hears to me...
Love is a funny word.
And it is funny who we love. Our partners, our families, our coleagues, our pets and our friends.
And when your friends are sad it makes you sad and tears are welling up. You want to make things happy again but you know that sometimes whistling "Always look on the Bright side of Life" doesn't work. All you can say is I'm here for you and then be there if your needed.
I know that all my friends dont read this but I am here. I have a car and/or money for a taxi, train, plane and all I need is a whistle (please not too subtle - I am male). Quote Asterix if you like "wgsftl" or King Arthur "I'm all alone" and I'll be there beside you.
To Sorento, StAlbans, Canberra, Shepparton, Rosanna, Greensborough, Brunswick, GlenWaverly, Sydney, Cheltenham, Melbourne, Oakleigh, Clayton, Healesville, to the back of Bourke and beyond.
I dont think we say it often enough and sometimes it gets diluted.
I love you all,
Andrew
TO: A, A, B, C, D, D, E, E, E, F, G, H, H, H, I, J, K, L, L, L, M, M, M, M, N, O, P, R, S, S, T, T, U, V, W, W, X and Y
Title from Les Miserables
And it is funny who we love. Our partners, our families, our coleagues, our pets and our friends.
And when your friends are sad it makes you sad and tears are welling up. You want to make things happy again but you know that sometimes whistling "Always look on the Bright side of Life" doesn't work. All you can say is I'm here for you and then be there if your needed.
I know that all my friends dont read this but I am here. I have a car and/or money for a taxi, train, plane and all I need is a whistle (please not too subtle - I am male). Quote Asterix if you like "wgsftl" or King Arthur "I'm all alone" and I'll be there beside you.
To Sorento, StAlbans, Canberra, Shepparton, Rosanna, Greensborough, Brunswick, GlenWaverly, Sydney, Cheltenham, Melbourne, Oakleigh, Clayton, Healesville, to the back of Bourke and beyond.
I dont think we say it often enough and sometimes it gets diluted.
I love you all,
Andrew
TO: A, A, B, C, D, D, E, E, E, F, G, H, H, H, I, J, K, L, L, L, M, M, M, M, N, O, P, R, S, S, T, T, U, V, W, W, X and Y
Title from Les Miserables
Friday, 23 November 2007
Townsville
These photos were way way way too big, so I have resized them. I hope they can still portray the beautiful things I found.
I am a Victorian born and bred and have very rarely been outside my homestate. But I was off to Townsville, a town of 100,000+ people, billions more during the tourist season, three hours away from Melbourne by plane and in Lovely Tropical Queensland.
Three hours later, exhaused arrived at Townsville International Airport. A bit too early to check in to my hotel, so asked a taxi driver to drop me off at a beach where I could get a bite to eat and relax.
Not Bad? View From The Strand, the main beachfront. I didn't find out until later that the beach front was man-made. That is Magnetic Island in the distance.
I will talk more of Magnetic Island in a future post. It was named by Captain James Cook because the island played havoc with his compass. Weirdly the island has never played havoc with anyone else's compasses. Sadly I could not go swimming. It was the season for what the locals (and Australians) call stingers and the rest of the world call box-jellyfish and portugese-men-of-war.
Australia is in drought. In Melbourne 99% of the fountains have been turned, off so it was quite surprising to find billions of fountains in perfect working condition. I liked the men blowing the horns.
There were heaps of frangipani around. Or as my Sri-Lankan friend called them 'Temple Flowers' as in Sri Lanka they are commonly found around temples.
This sculpture commemorates Edward Koiki Mabo and the Mabo Decision. The mosaic symbolises the ancestral Octopus that brought the laws of tradition to the Torres Strait Islands. The Warup Drum represents the strengh of Mabo's voice. And the boulder symbolises the physical, spiritual and cultural connection between indigenous people and the land.
The Mabo Decision - In 1981 a Land Rights Conference was held at James Cook University in Townsville where Eddie Mabo spoke on land ownership. Mabo and a group of Murray Islanders decided to take their claim for Native Title to the High Court of Australia and they won. This was the first case of its kind in Australia.
I have to go and pick up my brother who is doing shopping. So here is a final picture of a great Indian restaurant in Flinders Street in Townsville. Food was beautiful and so was the environment.
Friday, 12 October 2007
Australian Citizenship Test
Well Australia is making prospective citizens sit a silly test, with questions about Australian history, culture and values. I like the following test better.
(I was born in Australia 26ish years ago, and failed the following test, please dont tell anyone)
Aussie Citizenship Test
People who score less than 100% will be deported as they are Obviously not 'real' Australians
LANGUAGE
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?
2. What is a mole?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage:
"In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."
CUSTOMS
1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
2. Complete the following sentences:
a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother …
b) You're going home in the back of a …
c) Fair suck of the …
3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard"up on blocks"? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
FOOD
1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?
5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?
6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
CULTURE
1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
2. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?
3. Who would you like to crack on to?
4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
5. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?
(I was born in Australia 26ish years ago, and failed the following test, please dont tell anyone)
Aussie Citizenship Test
People who score less than 100% will be deported as they are Obviously not 'real' Australians
LANGUAGE
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?
2. What is a mole?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage:
"In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."
CUSTOMS
1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
2. Complete the following sentences:
a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother …
b) You're going home in the back of a …
c) Fair suck of the …
3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard"up on blocks"? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
FOOD
1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?
5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?
6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
CULTURE
1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
2. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?
3. Who would you like to crack on to?
4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
5. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
Odds and Ends
TICK WARNING! - (please forward via email)
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings - have even done it myself a
couple times, but unintentionally...
but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to
everyone on your e-mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due
to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around
with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!!
THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday...I feel so stupid.
CSI Question
Read this question, come up with an answer, and then scroll down to the
bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No
one I know has been right.
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings - have even done it myself a
couple times, but unintentionally...
but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to
everyone on your e-mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due
to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around
with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!!
THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday...I feel so stupid.
CSI Question
Read this question, come up with an answer, and then scroll down to the
bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No
one I know has been right.
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not
know. She thought this guy was amazing.
She believed him to be her dream guy so much, that she fell in love with
him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him.
A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?
Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below
Answer:
She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered
this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has
the same mentality as a killer.
Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question
correctly.
If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my
email list...
Odds and Ends
TICK WARNING!
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings - have even done it myself a
couple times, but unintentionally...
but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to
everyone on your e-mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due
to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around
with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!!
THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday...I feel so stupid.
CSI QUESTION
Read this question, come up with an answer, and then scroll down to the
bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No
one I know has been right.
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not
know. She thought this guy was amazing.
She believed him to be her dream guy so much, that she fell in love with
him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him.
A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?
Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below
Answer:
She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered
this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has
the same mentality as a killer.
Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question
correctly.
If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my
email list...
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings - have even done it myself a
couple times, but unintentionally...
but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to
everyone on your e-mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due
to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around
with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!!
THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday...I feel so stupid.
CSI QUESTION
Read this question, come up with an answer, and then scroll down to the
bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No
one I know has been right.
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not
know. She thought this guy was amazing.
She believed him to be her dream guy so much, that she fell in love with
him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him.
A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?
Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below
Answer:
She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered
this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has
the same mentality as a killer.
Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question
correctly.
If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my
email list...
Tuesday, 29 May 2007
Depression
Hi people,
I have been working on Thursdays for about three months in a job where the other person who works on the other days leaves on maternity leaves tomorrow. I applied for the position for when she was on leave.
I was told today that they wanted to job share the position. I heard a rumour that this was the case and I convinced myself that I would get the majority of the position, especially as I already know next to everything.
I got one day a week.
I feel dreadful,
Your depressed and dispirited friend,
Andrew.
I have been working on Thursdays for about three months in a job where the other person who works on the other days leaves on maternity leaves tomorrow. I applied for the position for when she was on leave.
I was told today that they wanted to job share the position. I heard a rumour that this was the case and I convinced myself that I would get the majority of the position, especially as I already know next to everything.
I got one day a week.
I feel dreadful,
Your depressed and dispirited friend,
Andrew.
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